I already started signing up for any Job that will have me. This really sucks.. i keep thinking about my problem. I went over to my mothers today and talked to her about it but.... As always. She Just laughs at me and asks me "well what are you going to do?"
well mom here's what I'm thinking of doing with my foot, it involves your ass just so you know.
Nah i couldn't say it to her face, i couldn't slap her ether even though i visualized it so clearly and wonderfully in my mind. I wish i had the balls to do it someday. F*ck if she hits me back its ok, I would just be glad i would have done it.
Anyways wanting to hurt my mom aside, i have nothing. I only had a walmat Card that i got from a friend [wtf!!] that had $10 in it and wasted it all on eyeliner and wax!!! [WTF!!!!!] that eye liner is really good so I'm not going to complain to much, and that wax looked good, [can't wait to try it on after i get my hair cut again] I wish that money was not in a walmart Card but, fuck! now i only have like about [just maybe] $5 in Quarters, maybe about 2 in Nickles and about [possibly] 6 in Dimes.
Fuck that is no where near the amount i need!! [i need to check again what i want to get!] i really would love to get the one for the Meet and great and all the goodies but i don't think i will ever make it that high! :( i could be wrong but maybe some one will lend me money for the regular... which to me is better then nothing right now because i got no money..... But That meet and great sure seems really tempting.... gosh!!! i see what i can do!
Dir en grey!!! no mater what i will see you live again!! i will! if i get lucky i will see you face to face... all of you except Kyo i know. :(
who i'm doing, who i've done
"ლ( •`○ •"ლ) get your fucking hands up!
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
why?
It seems that nothing really goes good for me. Not saying that nothing goes good, i'm not one of those "oh why me? why me?" persons, i know there are people out there that have it worse. But it seems for me lately a lot of things aren't going well, i'm not going to say the P word because the word is Cursed! And i don't need anymore bad news right now. It seems that Dir en Grey is coming to Houston. [yay] but the bad news is that i don't have any money. Nothing at all!! So i was hit hard, like an arrow through the chest, then to add insult to injury i was bit 5 times by fire ants just now when i was watering the yard... and yes i like to water the lawn in the night. I'm a Vampire get over it! XD
anyways i have no luck at all lately. I should have known something like this was going to happen because i heard about the concert 3 days before the Tickets go for sale. I should have known it was too good to be true.... I feel like an idiot and i can't help but blame my self for getting to over excited.... Its been a while sense a concert has come up [ or anything fun for that matter] and Now i finally have the chance to see Dir en Grey again and this happens.... :(
this really really sucks....
i wish i could see you guys again.... but who knows.... maybe things will get better soon and maybe i just might? i hope... maybe i will have enough to see you guys live, but not enough for the meet and great. Which will totally mean the world is out to get me if Kyo is in this meet and great!!!!!!!!
anyways i have no luck at all lately. I should have known something like this was going to happen because i heard about the concert 3 days before the Tickets go for sale. I should have known it was too good to be true.... I feel like an idiot and i can't help but blame my self for getting to over excited.... Its been a while sense a concert has come up [ or anything fun for that matter] and Now i finally have the chance to see Dir en Grey again and this happens.... :(
i wish i could see you guys again.... but who knows.... maybe things will get better soon and maybe i just might? i hope... maybe i will have enough to see you guys live, but not enough for the meet and great. Which will totally mean the world is out to get me if Kyo is in this meet and great!!!!!!!!
music and everything clothing!
i love dressing up, but not as much as i love MUSIC. i sometimes feel like that Amanda Lepore song. "i don't know much about cloth but my hair looks fears" and that's slightly true because i don't know much about clothing, i know what tickles my fancy, but at the same time I know well enough that not everything will look good on me, you know? Its like seeing that preppy looking girl wearing goth clothing, she doesn't have the light skin or the face structure for something like that. or a gangster looking guy trying to be punk. it just doesn't look right. But more really its like a big girl/guy trying to cosplay, it doesn't look good unless the character is your size and you just look ridiculous. I mean i know that sounds mean, but come on, their asking for it. I am one of those firm believers that "if it satisfies you then do it" but sometimes i think some people take it to far, i wont say anything to their faces if they look really happy. but i will think something awful. Anyways.....
I wish that Clothing can sometimes be easy like Music. because Music is what you like and its what you listen to right? But clothing people judge you, i would know because I've been judged, i judge, hell even the pope would judge some one about their clothing and Gays will judge the pope over his. Its just how it is i think some people aren't like " i hate her because she looks better" i think some people just say that some one looks ridiculous because they do, no jealousy, no hate, no nothing! its just that you do look silly in that getup and you have a nice face, body, or what ever to be looking like that. If i could i would so do what those people from that show would do, you know those shows like "What not to wear" or "How do i look" because there are a lot of people out there that need to be pointed down the right direction, for those that have lost weight but still can't get over the fear of wearing something different, i would love to help you, for those that have a nice body and don't know how to show it off, let me lead you down the path that will show off your sexy curves but don't be scared because i won't let you look like a $5 hooker.
As you can see i like to watch these shows when ever i get the chance to watch the TV, [because i don't watch the TV much, at all really] but some times i don't like what they do to someone. Sometimes there are a couple of people they show there that are "individuals" and i sometimes fear them being changed to be like everyone else, i mean some times the clothing and the way they look after is so awesome! But i do also feel bad that they aren't them selves anymore, that they aren't one of a kind. I sometimes take it to the extremes and i feel like they were an endangered species that where just killed off. Okay that's a little to much eh? XD
Anyways I'm listening to Earth Wind and Fire's "Let's Groove" and have you guys notice.... not trying to sound stupid and Raciest or something idiotic like that but..... Have you notice that the Black people back then looked and acted more friendly then they do now? I mean come on... their music was so friendly, full of love and joy, dancing off the stress and grooving out with your friends and family. They looked so nice too! They had these big, joyful smiles on their faces and they looked like they tuck the stress of life and said "you know what? you aren't going to bring me down today! or ever!" But Now the music is angry and mean, they don't respect women like they would at some time, and they have these angry looking faces that say "get the fuck out of my face or i'll kill you bitch!" Or the clothing now, they have these baggy pants that don't even stay up, they walk around looking like their hiding something or limping like somethings wrong with them, I MEAN! Why would you want to give people more of a reason to think stupid things about you? I don't know this is just me wishing things could go back to the times where people didn't look so angry, but this time with more of a twist, no more hate. And we can wear what we want! XD
this is Queen Wrath just saying what i feel.
I wish that Clothing can sometimes be easy like Music. because Music is what you like and its what you listen to right? But clothing people judge you, i would know because I've been judged, i judge, hell even the pope would judge some one about their clothing and Gays will judge the pope over his. Its just how it is i think some people aren't like " i hate her because she looks better" i think some people just say that some one looks ridiculous because they do, no jealousy, no hate, no nothing! its just that you do look silly in that getup and you have a nice face, body, or what ever to be looking like that. If i could i would so do what those people from that show would do, you know those shows like "What not to wear" or "How do i look" because there are a lot of people out there that need to be pointed down the right direction, for those that have lost weight but still can't get over the fear of wearing something different, i would love to help you, for those that have a nice body and don't know how to show it off, let me lead you down the path that will show off your sexy curves but don't be scared because i won't let you look like a $5 hooker.
As you can see i like to watch these shows when ever i get the chance to watch the TV, [because i don't watch the TV much, at all really] but some times i don't like what they do to someone. Sometimes there are a couple of people they show there that are "individuals" and i sometimes fear them being changed to be like everyone else, i mean some times the clothing and the way they look after is so awesome! But i do also feel bad that they aren't them selves anymore, that they aren't one of a kind. I sometimes take it to the extremes and i feel like they were an endangered species that where just killed off. Okay that's a little to much eh? XD
Anyways I'm listening to Earth Wind and Fire's "Let's Groove" and have you guys notice.... not trying to sound stupid and Raciest or something idiotic like that but..... Have you notice that the Black people back then looked and acted more friendly then they do now? I mean come on... their music was so friendly, full of love and joy, dancing off the stress and grooving out with your friends and family. They looked so nice too! They had these big, joyful smiles on their faces and they looked like they tuck the stress of life and said "you know what? you aren't going to bring me down today! or ever!" But Now the music is angry and mean, they don't respect women like they would at some time, and they have these angry looking faces that say "get the fuck out of my face or i'll kill you bitch!" Or the clothing now, they have these baggy pants that don't even stay up, they walk around looking like their hiding something or limping like somethings wrong with them, I MEAN! Why would you want to give people more of a reason to think stupid things about you? I don't know this is just me wishing things could go back to the times where people didn't look so angry, but this time with more of a twist, no more hate. And we can wear what we want! XD
this is Queen Wrath just saying what i feel.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
ehh... anyways...
as you can tell i'm a bit crazy. i love dark stuff but I'm starting to dress really light and stuff, i guess i'm still finding my self, for sure i know i'm a rock lover, i listen to metal and i'm a big head banger, but i love everything that catches my attention.
i guess i'm just all over the chart lol
i guess i'm just all over the chart lol
Kyo.
I don't give a damn about what other people my think about him, he is one person that not even HE can change my mind about him. He is to me a very interesting person, and I'm sure to others as well. His band, Dir en Grey was the first Japanese Rock band that i have ever heard. The first song was called Umbrella, then Filth, then Obscure. I feel in love with Obscure, at the time i didn't have internet i was about 11 or 10, i guess you can say still a young age to be listening to something like that? I didn't know what they looked like or anything so don't say i liked them because of the way they look, because i do find them attractive. I didn't even understand the Japanese Language at the time , it was so new to me, it was something i haven't heard before but felt a connection to. this was the music, the band, the person, that will change everything.
As a young girl i was in love with all things scary, my favorite Holiday was Halloween, my color of choice was always black, i would never be scared of the Gothic even when at that the age of 6 kids would cry over something so dark and scary, I would watch nightmare before Christmas even when my older brothers and younger sister would be scared of it, i would watch Beetle Juice the movie none stop knowing it made my little sister cry in the beginning with the creepy song that brought chills to my spine, i loved it. I would be the only one of my siblings to watch Interview with the Vampire and love it! I'm a music lover, at my young age i would listen to anything and everything, i also feel that because i had been raised by a gay uncle it opened up my love for gays, Madonna, makeup and leather. all that music was presented to me, hip hop, rock, alternative, British pop, Dance and all that jazz, but for some reason my music preference was Manson [at the time he was scary] and a kind of Gothic Orchestra sound. i was in to ghost stories and scary stuff like that.
As you can see i was never really the normal girl at school. I was picked on quite a lot, i was used and neglected, molested and laughed at. My parents both worked hard and came home tiered. So i kept all that pain to my self, i felt that they didn't need another problem. There was never an escape from the pain, i would come home and my older sister would pick on me and hurt me Physically, but nothing could be worse then emotionally. I still wait the day when she would stop calling me a liar and apologies, even when i know that it still might not be enough. I hold in all this pain and i let people push me around, i never spoke up for my self, and that is something i still regret, i don't have a screaming voice, and for that I say sorry to my self. From all of this pain i grew to Hate everyone and anyone, I would wish for everyone who hurt me to die, I couldn't trust a soul not even the ones that gave me life.
But hey, i'm not that violent, i could never kill someone, I cried when i killed that poor frog when i was little i don't think i could do it now. I can wish it on people, but that's a whole different story.
I was never given pity so why should i show it to others? That's why my nickname from my Friends is Wrath. The music from Dir en Grey makes me feel like I'm not wrong for thinking what i do about humans. It lets me understand how twisted the world is and in a way lets me know that I'm not as bad. Kyo doesn't let me down with his Lyrics, I'm glad i found some one [or a group of someones] That aren't afraid to reach in and tear out the guts of the human race and show them "this is how ugly and disgusting you can be, you're all fucked up and so am i!"
So once again i don't give a shit what You think about Kyo, he is my IDOL and it will stay that way till i dye.
Ms.Wrath
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
happy little me.
so today was one of those days up on-till i started to record my self being silly and then i had fun i guess.... i'm not much of a record my self person but i do like to goof around. :)
just because it takes the "eh" out of life and i do this without the drugs so you know you can have fun too. :P
anyways i was looking at some pictures of my "Boyfriend" and i saw this one that i thought was so CUUUTE!! so i will post it up.
bang for my buck!
Cute isn't he? lol
anyways day dreams aside [push daydream cloud out of the way]
I'm a silly person and all, but i also have my soft side.
i'm not really girly but i can be. i'm one of those girls that you can hang out with. i guess i never made my self out to be a "girlfriend" type. you know, the one that clings and talks so sweet and always does what the guy wants her to.
I'm easy to talk to, i act like one of the guys which makes it hard for boys to see me as that girl they would date. I am modest, which some guys like, and i wont hold a guy back from doing what he wants to do, unless i know for sure its not good for him or it can lead to some problems in the future. I like to look good for guys and i like to smell nice, i don't do ugly noises and laugh about them like a nasty girl, but i do have a ruff voice if that makes sense?
'hmm... i just don't understand what a guy wants. I made most of my good friends guys, and i love to hang out with them more because its less drama and they don't talk to bad about other people and stuff, and they don't pretend to like some one like most girls do so they wont look like a "b"word.
i hang out with them most, yet i don't understand what kind of girl they are looking for.
I thought that i was something any guy would love to love. I'm cute, i'm not afraid to be funny, i always make sure i don't smell or look bad or anything. But don't get me wrong i don't do this for them, i do this for my self, i don't want to be nasty or what ever.
Anyways, i always wondered, will i ever be the kind of girl that some one like Shou would like?
and i don't mean just Shou, i'm not looking at him for his handsomeness, which is a plus by the way, but i see how he treats people, the way he talks about his friends, his modest, kind, always flashes a smile to everyone. [wow reminds me of my self except i'm more Tsundere with my friends]
I always wanted someone like that, someone that was considerate, who wouldn't mind smiling for me when we take a picture together, some one who would love to hold my hand even if its "small". I wouldn't mind a guy who will look at the simple things in life, who would watch the clouds with me and see the beauty in all the little things people take for granted. I don't know, sometimes i wish i could marry myself. haha! that's another thing! i would marry him, i always told my self i wouldn't get married or have a family, but with someone like that. i would.
I always would tell a joke to my friends, which really in a way its the truth, that i would travel the world to find people like me, born in different circumstances, that wouldn't be as angry as i am, someone like me that can show me that i don't have to hold on to what has happen to me, that i don't have to be afraid to love even my family or friends. I want to meet a "life changer" person, some one who i can learn from and help me grow as a person.
I just want to fall in real love. and i finally want someone to fall in love with me, for who i really am.
A day dreamer with so many silly ideas and view of the world and things.
oh well....
just because it takes the "eh" out of life and i do this without the drugs so you know you can have fun too. :P
anyways i was looking at some pictures of my "Boyfriend" and i saw this one that i thought was so CUUUTE!! so i will post it up.
Cute isn't he? lol
anyways day dreams aside [push daydream cloud out of the way]
I'm a silly person and all, but i also have my soft side.
i'm not really girly but i can be. i'm one of those girls that you can hang out with. i guess i never made my self out to be a "girlfriend" type. you know, the one that clings and talks so sweet and always does what the guy wants her to.
I'm easy to talk to, i act like one of the guys which makes it hard for boys to see me as that girl they would date. I am modest, which some guys like, and i wont hold a guy back from doing what he wants to do, unless i know for sure its not good for him or it can lead to some problems in the future. I like to look good for guys and i like to smell nice, i don't do ugly noises and laugh about them like a nasty girl, but i do have a ruff voice if that makes sense?
'hmm... i just don't understand what a guy wants. I made most of my good friends guys, and i love to hang out with them more because its less drama and they don't talk to bad about other people and stuff, and they don't pretend to like some one like most girls do so they wont look like a "b"word.
i hang out with them most, yet i don't understand what kind of girl they are looking for.
I thought that i was something any guy would love to love. I'm cute, i'm not afraid to be funny, i always make sure i don't smell or look bad or anything. But don't get me wrong i don't do this for them, i do this for my self, i don't want to be nasty or what ever.
Anyways, i always wondered, will i ever be the kind of girl that some one like Shou would like?
and i don't mean just Shou, i'm not looking at him for his handsomeness, which is a plus by the way, but i see how he treats people, the way he talks about his friends, his modest, kind, always flashes a smile to everyone. [wow reminds me of my self except i'm more Tsundere with my friends]
I always wanted someone like that, someone that was considerate, who wouldn't mind smiling for me when we take a picture together, some one who would love to hold my hand even if its "small". I wouldn't mind a guy who will look at the simple things in life, who would watch the clouds with me and see the beauty in all the little things people take for granted. I don't know, sometimes i wish i could marry myself. haha! that's another thing! i would marry him, i always told my self i wouldn't get married or have a family, but with someone like that. i would.
I always would tell a joke to my friends, which really in a way its the truth, that i would travel the world to find people like me, born in different circumstances, that wouldn't be as angry as i am, someone like me that can show me that i don't have to hold on to what has happen to me, that i don't have to be afraid to love even my family or friends. I want to meet a "life changer" person, some one who i can learn from and help me grow as a person.
I just want to fall in real love. and i finally want someone to fall in love with me, for who i really am.
A day dreamer with so many silly ideas and view of the world and things.
oh well....
so...
so...
today i went shopping and i got my self a Royal crown Necklace, phone charm, and two new pair of shoes! yay! i'm a girl. anyways, I have been wanting to do something cute with my phone sense people already thing its a cute phone because of how small it is i wanted to really make them go "aww!"♥
my phone looks better when you look at it in real life... but in a way its still ugly xD it was my first time doing Decora and it might just be my last.
one of the pair of shoes i got
the necklace i got. i love it! i had to get it before it was gone!
anyways i'm glad i went shopping i haven't gotten anything new in such a long time.
today i went shopping and i got my self a Royal crown Necklace, phone charm, and two new pair of shoes! yay! i'm a girl. anyways, I have been wanting to do something cute with my phone sense people already thing its a cute phone because of how small it is i wanted to really make them go "aww!"♥
one of the pair of shoes i got
anyways i'm glad i went shopping i haven't gotten anything new in such a long time.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
for the hell of it
i'm thinking of making a spoof with my buds. i love making videos with my friends. we have a YouTube channel called the REaL FRiCTIoN, check us out. i'm usually the camera person so you wont see me much.
Anyways
for this new Project will be a little hard because i need my friends to have suits, i need a lot more people then i can get. Even with this difficulties i would still love to make this video, just because i think it would be very funny. Other then making video using my friends i also like to make videos with Jrockers in them, kind of fan video stuff. i'm thinking of another idea right now [just came to me] hopefully i can make this work and it can be funny at the end.
anyways i hope my friends will continue to surprise me with their awful acting [lol just kidding] and i hope to get more people to watch our stuff.
ms. queen wuggi wuggi cho the sloth
ps.
Video that we did last...
http://youtu.be/gR0ihRcpNVA
Anyways
for this new Project will be a little hard because i need my friends to have suits, i need a lot more people then i can get. Even with this difficulties i would still love to make this video, just because i think it would be very funny. Other then making video using my friends i also like to make videos with Jrockers in them, kind of fan video stuff. i'm thinking of another idea right now [just came to me] hopefully i can make this work and it can be funny at the end.
anyways i hope my friends will continue to surprise me with their awful acting [lol just kidding] and i hope to get more people to watch our stuff.
ms. queen wuggi wuggi cho the sloth
ps.
Video that we did last...
http://youtu.be/gR0ihRcpNVA
first blog!
Haha! my first Blog, i hope i do good on keeping up with this thing. I don't know very well how to use this because i'm a dimwit! anyways I hope to learn more on how to use this thing and along the way have people follow me as i go along my slow pace life.
Hopefully i will blog about concerts? [if i go to any]
new CD's I've bought and DVD's
Movies i've gone to see and
my friends and i putting together a Band and how bad that will end ahehe
anyways i hope i do a good job keeping this thing up dated for my self. ^ ^
well i'm off...
queen wugii wugii chO the sloth
ps. because i love typing and i haven't typed in a long time i'm just going to write something else down for the hell of it.
I got to play my drums to day in what seemed like a very long time. i hope to get a hair cut soon even though my hair is really short right now haha. [just want to have my hair look more funner then it does now because it looks like a bob] give my hair a little Funk. i also started working out again, and i feel like a million bucks! i think i'm the only person i know that will say working out is the funnest thing i have done all day. anyways, besides laughing at he sneezing bear, to day was an ok day
Hopefully i will blog about concerts? [if i go to any]
new CD's I've bought and DVD's
Movies i've gone to see and
my friends and i putting together a Band and how bad that will end ahehe
anyways i hope i do a good job keeping this thing up dated for my self. ^ ^
well i'm off...
queen wugii wugii chO the sloth
ps. because i love typing and i haven't typed in a long time i'm just going to write something else down for the hell of it.
I got to play my drums to day in what seemed like a very long time. i hope to get a hair cut soon even though my hair is really short right now haha. [just want to have my hair look more funner then it does now because it looks like a bob] give my hair a little Funk. i also started working out again, and i feel like a million bucks! i think i'm the only person i know that will say working out is the funnest thing i have done all day. anyways, besides laughing at he sneezing bear, to day was an ok day
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