happy little me.

so today was one of those days up on-till i started to record my self being silly and then i had fun i guess.... i'm not much of a record my self person but i do like to goof around. :)
just because it takes the "eh" out of life and i do this without the drugs so you know you can have fun too. :P

anyways i was looking at some pictures of my "Boyfriend" and i saw this one that i thought was so CUUUTE!! so i will post it up.

bang for my buck!
Cute isn't he? lol

anyways day dreams aside [push daydream cloud out of the way]
I'm a silly person and all, but i also have my soft side.
i'm not really girly but i can be. i'm one of those girls that you can hang out with. i guess i never made my self out to be a "girlfriend" type. you know, the one that clings and talks so sweet and always does what the guy wants her to.
I'm easy to talk to, i act like one of the guys which makes it hard for boys to see me as that girl they would date. I am modest, which some guys like, and i wont hold a guy back from doing what he wants to do, unless i know for sure its not good for him or it can lead to some problems in the future. I like to look good for guys and i like to smell nice, i don't do ugly noises and laugh about them like a nasty girl, but i do have a ruff voice if that makes sense?
'hmm... i just don't understand what a guy wants. I made most of my good friends guys, and i love to hang out with them more because its less drama and they don't talk to bad about other people and stuff, and they don't pretend to like some one like most girls do so they wont look like a "b"word.
i hang out with them most, yet i don't understand what kind of girl they are looking for.
I thought that i was something any guy would love to love. I'm cute, i'm not afraid to be funny, i always make sure i don't smell or look bad or anything. But don't get me wrong i don't do this for them, i do this for my self, i don't want to be nasty or what ever.

Anyways, i always wondered, will i ever be the kind of girl that some one like Shou would like?
and i don't mean just Shou, i'm not looking at him for his handsomeness, which is a plus by the way, but i see how he treats people, the way he talks about his friends, his modest, kind, always flashes a smile to everyone. [wow reminds me of my self except i'm more Tsundere with my friends]
I always wanted someone like that, someone that was considerate, who wouldn't mind smiling for me when we take a picture together, some one who would love to hold my hand even if its "small". I wouldn't mind a guy who will look at the simple things in life, who would watch the clouds with me and see the beauty in all the little things people take for granted.  I don't know, sometimes i wish i could marry myself. haha! that's another thing! i would marry him, i always told my self i wouldn't get married or have a family, but with someone like that. i would.
I always would tell a joke to my friends, which really in a way its the truth, that i would travel the world to find people like me, born in different circumstances, that wouldn't be as angry as i am, someone like me that can show me that i don't have to hold on to what has happen to me, that i don't have to be afraid to love even my family or friends. I want to meet a "life changer" person, some one who i can learn from and help me grow as a person.   
I just want to fall in real love. and i finally want someone to fall in love with me, for who i really am.
A day dreamer with so many silly ideas and view of the world and things.
oh well....