D is for DIFFERENT!!!...

So I'm not dark haired ol Andy anymore.

and Its funny because Before i never really liked the Colour Pink! in fact i hated it. It was something i told my self i would never wear. Funny i would say that. Anyways as i got older the color started to become nicer to my eyes and my heart just slowly took it in.
Anyways I now have pink hair!
P!nk!! it has a little orange on it but it looks kick ass to me.
Anyways i thought i would share that with my blog so..... now here is a picture!
i hope Shou likes it! XD


... I'm such a loser....

from this...[a Ruki look XD]

to this! [a Hakuei look back when he had all pink hair]

Just another Girl, just another Fish...

What can i do? I lend a helping hand and all but...  It sucks when you like some one and its so obvious they are using you, it sucks when he knows how you feel but does it anyway.

I wish i wasn't so kind sometimes, but i can't help it, i feel sad right now but i can't help but smile and let him know how i feel.

This isn't the first time so it makes it even more painful for me. But what am i to their eyes? some one they can use? Just another Fish? How can i bring my self to say no when i really like some one.
I know he is using me yet i still end up smiling when he thanks me for what I've done for him.
He could have at least made it less obvious, He started up a conversation with me, started it by saying thank you, you have really helped me out a lot, then goes on to say can you help me out one more time, then when i do as he asked he stopped talking to me. Its my own fault for making my self so easily pushable, What can i do? i don't want to look like a fool by saying to him hey! "I can't help you anymore, all those times i helped you out is because i really liked you and I couldn't say no, I still like you but i can't keep letting my self be used like this."

How stupid will that be? He always asks for an explanation and even if I don't let him know he will find out because he is clever like that..... Gosh i'm such a fool!
Shou!! help me! I feel so... stupid and pathetic.... let me not smile anymore unless its from the heart! I don't want to bend to any ones will but my own anymore.

Andy [wrath] the spaz  Andrea

The Brand new!

Just listened to the new song from The GazettE and i love it. its pretty awesome. Their new look is just as cool i think hahee. I hope to get their CD in the future, buy it not download! its not really being a good fan if you go and illegally download their stuff. Its not cool. I've honestly have been buying every song and CD i own now. I am up to 40 something CD's and about 20 something songs i have bought off of iTunes.

I started doing this in 2009? i think when i started to feel like i wasn't really a fan of theirs, it really started when i was watching an interview from... i can't remember who i think its was, Alice nine or The GazettE ... or maybe its was Girugamesh? I can't remember who but any whooo.. in the Video one of the band members was talking about Their new upcoming CD and stuff and when he said something like this, "please support us." I stopped and for some reason right there and then i felt awful about just downloading songs like that, i was saying to myself in my head "and i call my self a fan and i don't even own a CD!" and i remembered how i felt when i bought a CD, i remember it was U2 and the CD was called How to dismantle an atomic bomb, I remember how excited i was and how on my way home i opened it and i remember the smell of the Jacket and looking through the little book, looking at all the pictures inside and reading the lyrics, I was so excited to have bought something with my money and holding it. When i got home i automatically went to my portable CD player and listened to it all. This was around 2003 or so? i Can't remember the time right but i know i was still little hehee.

I know, it sounds so stupid or retarded that i would get excited over buying a CD and looking at it like as if it was something so special. But like I've said, I'm simple minded, and i don't mean it as if I'm a ditz. which i can be, But by my definition I mean it as i find simple thing really nice. I don't ask for to much you know? The simple things are what counts for me. But yeah, I was so excited that i got that CD  and thinking about that moment i changed my ways XD [sounds like i found god or something Bahhahahaa!!!!]

So i started buying CD's and for the stuff i couldn't find at the time in the stores because it was foreign, I bought iTunes Cards. This was about 2006 or 7 when i started hearing about people like Miyavi and The GazettE and Alice nine and so on. Funny because all of this started after Dir en Grey who would have rather died then to call them selves Goth or Visual Kei. I was looking up Dir en Grey videos because this was around the time i started my YouTube account. and i found my self to a link, the first song from The GazettE i have ever heard was Filth in the Beauty. From there i got obsessed and started looking up more from there i found Alice nine from them I found Miyavi, from all of them i found everything i know now. From Malice Mizer [which was one of the first bands i have ever heard of that were in Japanese [about 2 to 3 days after Dir en grey]] I found Gackt and from him Hyde and from him all these other people i can't remember right now.

ANYWAYS!!! getting off topic i started buying their music. mostly Miyavi, Gackt, and Dir en Grey, because at the time they didn't have Alice nine and The GazettE in iTunes. Nor Ayabie and stuff.. I felt good listening to those songs i just freshly bought! lol so i kept at it and here I am everything in my ipod Video is bought! and I'm proud to say it!!

anyways i'm such a goody goody no? haha!

oh well i don't care what others have to say. As long as i feel right doing I'll do it
"if it feels good,then do it"

so in other words i really like the new song and i hope to get the new single and other CD's that i don't already have from them. and i don't care the price.


Andrea [wrath] Andy

This Saturday...

my friends and I are thinking we want to go Club Jumping, see which one is more like us, which will be a bit hard for me because i haven't done that ever lol. I have many personalities and none are fake.
I wanted to go to a gay friendly place so we can have fun with the people i love so much. because, come one, who doesn't love gays?

wooh! lets have some fun.

And I'm not saying I'm all that but who wants  to get hit on in a club by some strange guy when all you want is to have some fun.
I don't, for sure! i just want to go have fun with my two friends dance get home and fall asleep and wake up the next day feeling partied out.
So that was my first thought on where and what i want to do. Gay bar for sure! XD
but then i was thinking, i do really love the Industrial scene! I have friends on Facebook that seem to be really in to it and i see some of the videos that they put up and they Look so much fun, i feel like i'm missing out! XD  So that can be another possibility? plus Robert [my beautiful sexy gay friend] said he knows a place like that. so maybe just maybe. ;O

i want to go here!! this looks so sexy

hm.. anyways i just want to be safe and have fun. Honestly i wanted to go to the beach because I've never been there at night. [that's if they let us] but then again i don't think they have cops there do they? if we get in trouble we will just say the honest Truth "we didn't know we couldn't be here!" lol I have to make sure that we don't drink! Our driver of the night will be Jowee and i have to make sure we get her back home safe to her boyfriend lol.
This is a lot to do.  I need money which is something i don't have and i don't think will let get borrowed!
Anyways i hope that we have fun and that no natural disasters happen on the way.

hmm... Actually right now i have a big problem.... What will i wear? I want to wear my cute boots because i don't have a lot of dressy shoes and i have one pair of skinny jeans that fit me really not good haha!! i hope the music is nice, we don't get in fights, and we don't get over in trouble! Ahhaha!
WHAT SHOULD I WEAR?!!!
WHO KNOWS?! WHO CA!! I JUST WANT TO "FEEL FREE TONIGHT!"

crying over Jessica

This is my first time crying over the song Jessica from Dir en Grey. I always found a lot of fun in this song despite the lyrics being a bit sad. But today i was listening to it with the same jump and smile i get when i listen, Singing along and all that jazz. But for the first time i watched the live video, the concert for 5ugly kingdom, and I started to cry. i guess i feel like I'm missing out when i see that video and the smile and how happy Kyo looked in that video, i wish i was one of the meany people who received that smile from him. I guess its also because i wish HE would smile like that more, come out in to the crowed and hold out his hand for more to reach out to his. and i'm a bit upset at the fact that i might not ever get to see them play those older songs again, and if they do it wont be the same. I love Dir en Grey.

I just sometimes wish i lived in Japan and or was a little older so maybe i would have been there in those lives that seemed to be just perfect. I wouldn't have cared if i was all the way in the back like the others. As long as that atmosphere made its way to the back and i could cry, scream,jump,head bang,smile, and enjoy my self with the people around me, i would care less.

But now i will make that atmosphere for them, my vibrant smile will make its way to them and even if the song isn't uh... Happy at all [lol] i will make the room bright with fan enthusiasm as i always do.
I hope i get to meet them without a hurry! I need to look at their faces!!
because i always tend to look away when the going gets good. :(

Anyways I love you Dir En Grey and i hope you know that!!!

I'll try to cry more over Jessica [lol] but enjoy myself as well to the song.

I promise to follow you where ever you go,

Your loyal Fan Andrea [Wrath] Alvarado. ;p

today...

I head the chance to hear about a tragic thing. I wish that stuff like this would reach my ears. But sometime I rather hear about them in time then late, then crying would have a meaning. My dear Jasmin You, I wish i would have heard about it sooner. I always felt like we were two of a kind. I always wanted to see a sky full of stars before my time come to its end. I wish i would have had the chance to meet you in person, I wish i was there in your last moments, I wish i could have held you hand and felt it become lighter as your spirit flew away in to the passing breeze up to the sky with the start that you wanted so painfully to see.

Today I heard about another passing. One men which i knew about the other greatly known by everyone. The vocalist for Kagrra, Isshi. I wish i would have never skipped that song when it came up in my ipod. I wish i would have listened to Utakata more then I did. I wish i would have remembered to make you one of my favorite bands. I don't think i could listen to Utakata without crying again, if i could sing all the lyrics and not break my voice. I hope you tuck a gentle breeze and followed your way across the river. I wonder where you will end up, somewhere beautiful i bet. Hidden under a Sakura Tree, in a place where everything is always easy going and the wind always plays a song to remember. I hope you are there surrounded with all your favorite thing and no more pain, stress and the stupidity of the human life. Be full of laughter and joy in that beautiful place that I wish to send you after you close your eyes for a long good night. So long for now, I wish you a safe and easy journey to the other side.

The other man Taiji, bass player passed away too. It seemed that he was having a hard time, He tried to kill him self, and soon after he died. He was acting violent which leads me to believe he night have been under some kind of influence or he had a hard time and like some other he became angry and violent. I know it might have been alcohol, but i rather not say it. Knowing the number of people that have done something stupid because of it. I wish to believe that everyone will do so too. I wish him the same, a smooth and easy tripe to the other side, I don't believe in a god, but i do like to think that this place, this Eden as i like to call it, will take you in and love you for what you did right and not judge you on what you did wrong. This place i talk of will take you in with open arms and show you a way without pain and anger. I promise.

Rest in peace guys.