crying over Jessica

This is my first time crying over the song Jessica from Dir en Grey. I always found a lot of fun in this song despite the lyrics being a bit sad. But today i was listening to it with the same jump and smile i get when i listen, Singing along and all that jazz. But for the first time i watched the live video, the concert for 5ugly kingdom, and I started to cry. i guess i feel like I'm missing out when i see that video and the smile and how happy Kyo looked in that video, i wish i was one of the meany people who received that smile from him. I guess its also because i wish HE would smile like that more, come out in to the crowed and hold out his hand for more to reach out to his. and i'm a bit upset at the fact that i might not ever get to see them play those older songs again, and if they do it wont be the same. I love Dir en Grey.

I just sometimes wish i lived in Japan and or was a little older so maybe i would have been there in those lives that seemed to be just perfect. I wouldn't have cared if i was all the way in the back like the others. As long as that atmosphere made its way to the back and i could cry, scream,jump,head bang,smile, and enjoy my self with the people around me, i would care less.

But now i will make that atmosphere for them, my vibrant smile will make its way to them and even if the song isn't uh... Happy at all [lol] i will make the room bright with fan enthusiasm as i always do.
I hope i get to meet them without a hurry! I need to look at their faces!!
because i always tend to look away when the going gets good. :(

Anyways I love you Dir En Grey and i hope you know that!!!

I'll try to cry more over Jessica [lol] but enjoy myself as well to the song.

I promise to follow you where ever you go,

Your loyal Fan Andrea [Wrath] Alvarado. ;p