JESUS CHIRST

I've been asked why am I not a believer, well its personal but no one seems to understand my reasoning.


admiting:
When I was younger I was in church, I loved going I would sing the songs and all that crap. Its a strange thing to admit because of the way I am now. I was once one of the brainwashed.

When I had that disgusting thing happen to me I didn't turn to my family, I turned to prayer, when i was lonely i turned to prayer, when I was being pushed around and picked on at school i turned to prayer and when i was made fun of at the church i turned to prayer. You know what happen? Nothing. it was plane silence, nothing I didn't feel his arms wrap around me and let me understand that I will get pass this, I didn't see things getting better at School or those ugly laughing faces disappear from those freaks at church, and he wouldn't stop touching me.
where was my savior? where was he when I was brought low down to the grown and walked over, he was nowhere, so much for praising him and thanking him for everything my parents made possible.
My eyes soon saw the ugliness and delirium that is the human race, and I turned no more to the sky above me. If there was really a god why would he let those who have done nothing wrong suffer? oh are you going to tell me that it was a "test"? I've heard it all before, don't waist your breath. I saw what this religion can do and has done, and in history it is written all over, so many where killed and tortured till finally out of instinct to save them selves they agreed to praise a fictional being brought over by the beasts that conquer the North now. History thought me a lot, maybe they should think about stopping History and not evolution. 

Once I gave up the blind fold and opened my eyes, I got my self out of my problems. I raised my voice and did everything my self with no help. I took my self out of those situations not him.

People tell me, it was him helping you find your way, no it was not. get your head out of your ass, once i started to believe in no one but my self I began to become stronger and got my self the help i needed. If all I am my personal Jesus. And not trying to sound all sexist and stuff but why do i need a man to help me out?

just saying.